when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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