and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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