i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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