at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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