I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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