i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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