Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
