you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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