Did you just see the Batmobile???
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
