he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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