and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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