Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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