they need to just BURY HIM!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
