guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
