The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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