so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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