just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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