Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
