Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
