New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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