Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize