Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
