Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
