She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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