So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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