I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
