forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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