Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
