i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
