Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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