If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
