census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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