3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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