Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
