OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
