guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
