I'm really into asian looking animals
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
