names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
