hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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