I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
