This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
