I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
