yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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