Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
