if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
