His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
