How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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