I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
