after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
