he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
