are you still at the devil's house?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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