You made me cry and you don't even care
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
