Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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