There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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