Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
