i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I need water and some morals
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
