She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
