Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
