that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
