i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
