take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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